whenever I feel that I have little control over few parts of my life..or over few decisions..or may b when I start feeling happy about atleast few things of my life..God does soemthing n tells me...No dear..I am still the supreme..you dont have any control..you have to do what I want you to do!!! and as he demands..I loose all my control n surrender to his wishes and waits for his next game with me..
Read a book recently.."JUST IN CASE"..this story is about a teenage kid who is scared of his destiny or fate who keeps playing games with him..n he gets so crazy about it that he wants to hide from his fate n tries to disguise his identity..his looks..but finally he also decides to face it..thts the end..
I visited the church today..my last visit to church here..one hymn said..you dont have anything to give to lord..surrender urself to him..
I am not arguing,fighting or disgracing anything or debating against anything..just trying to accept this fact myself..which I feel is told to me indirectly by GOD in many ways..(well I do belive in intuitions and coincidences and many have happened to me recently even..getting a newspaper of Sai baba ji where one article says "surrender yourself to me..you dont have any other option"..in my recent visit to BRARs in toronto..just when I was about to leave that place...,the last and only hymn i attended in st.Michael yesterday night said the same..and today..my last visit to any church..the last hymn I ever sang..(I suppose so..)said.."give urself to God"..may be thts the way god is telling me to proceed ahead in mid of all these worries and confusions of my life..
I always believed in destiny..in God's supremacy in all respects with full honour..but may be inspired by the comments of people for my earlier blogs and other thoughts surrounding in air around me or being as a normal human being ( wont take any blame on my attitude;-))..I also refused to accept the changes gracefully..atleast in my mind and heart..( well..I am a good stage actress..so people still cant read my feelings at my face)..But he teaches you..and he taught me...
I always talk to GOD as my frnd..I always felt that he listens to me and answers my questions ..directly or indirectly..I also fight with him badly..even with bad words also sometimes..and I am so angry with him for last one month that I am not talking to him at all now..not even looking at him..and I refused going to church also..I WAS REALLY ANGRY...OK..I went to say only GOOD BYE to him..n he talked to me again..
So..I am still angry with him..but have surrendered to him now..hold my hand and take me wherever you want..I am getting ready for your next game!!
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Last Visit to st.matthew's United church - Dec 14,2008
Last hymn I sang:
What can I give him,poor as I am
If I were a shepherd,I would bring a lamb
If I were a wise man,I would do my part
ye what I can give him-give my heart.
Happy Birthday Lord Jesus
Christ is born;give him glory!
Give him glory;Christ is born!
What can I give him,poor as I am
If I were a shepherd,I would bring a lamb
If I were a wise man,I would do my part
ye what I can give him-give my heart.
Happy Birthday Lord Jesus
Christ is born;give him glory!
Give him glory;Christ is born!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
There is a special time and place for everything under this heaven.
We know this eternal truth,..whatever has to happen..will happen..you cant escape death..you cant escape accident..these are the negative examples..for those who believe that they can control their life events..and for positive side..your success..ur achievements..your life events ..from birth ..to graduation ..to marriage..n ahead..Then why do we get so impatient..we cant prepone or postpone the things..they will happen as per their time schedule..but the problem is that we don’t know when..and the astrologers are earning while predicting the same for us.
Astrology is a well accepted science across the world now..and what is the base of this science..place and time of birth..and who decides that..destiny…so again..destiny takes the control.Though I do not believe in astronomical predictions given by newspapers and all..but I still belive in astronomy ..There is a control somewhere..
Have patience..and wait for event to happen..dont b panic.. it wont help..time will not start running fast..THINGS WILL HAPPEN..ONLY WHEN THAY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE..
Astrology is a well accepted science across the world now..and what is the base of this science..place and time of birth..and who decides that..destiny…so again..destiny takes the control.Though I do not believe in astronomical predictions given by newspapers and all..but I still belive in astronomy ..There is a control somewhere..
Have patience..and wait for event to happen..dont b panic.. it wont help..time will not start running fast..THINGS WILL HAPPEN..ONLY WHEN THAY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE..
Sunday, November 2, 2008
St.Matthew's church
Hymn from Bible - I KNOW MY REDEEMER LIVETH
I Know that my Redeemer liveth,
And on the earth again shall stand.
I know eternal life He giveth,
That grace and power in His hand.
I know ,I know that Jesus liveth,
And on the earth again shall stand.
I know,I know that life He giveth,
That grace and power are in His hand.
I know His promise never faileth,
The word He speaks,it can not die;
Tho'crual death my flesh assaileth,
Yet I shall see Him by and by.
I know my mansion He prepareth,
That where He is there I may be;
O wondrous thought,for me He careth,
And He at last will come for me.
AMEEN..
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
When you....
When you loose,let God take it over on your behalf further,why do u fight,
When you had a horrible day,dont sleep with it,complain to God that very night.
When all ur loved ones stand against you,stay quite that time but do cry alone,
When things go out of your control,let them flow,dont stand there to get torn off.
When you feel everything is upside down,just stop thinking and become a stone,
When you miss someone terribly,cry aloud and let tears flow down.
When you want to smile,remember the one who made u laugh aloud with no reason at all,
When you dont see hope,remember the good times that made you forget the world.
When you cant decide what way to go, just give ur hand to God,
We are his children,has heard that he loves them a lot.
But it is him only who makes you cry..nobody else has that authority..
why doesnt he feel the pain ..or I feel that he does some partiality..
When I will go back and Incase I meet him..
I will ask the reply for each and every thing..
When you had a horrible day,dont sleep with it,complain to God that very night.
When all ur loved ones stand against you,stay quite that time but do cry alone,
When things go out of your control,let them flow,dont stand there to get torn off.
When you feel everything is upside down,just stop thinking and become a stone,
When you miss someone terribly,cry aloud and let tears flow down.
When you want to smile,remember the one who made u laugh aloud with no reason at all,
When you dont see hope,remember the good times that made you forget the world.
When you cant decide what way to go, just give ur hand to God,
We are his children,has heard that he loves them a lot.
But it is him only who makes you cry..nobody else has that authority..
why doesnt he feel the pain ..or I feel that he does some partiality..
When I will go back and Incase I meet him..
I will ask the reply for each and every thing..
OUR LIFE …..AS AN IT PROFESSIONAL
Sleeping inside the blanket, wishing that the morning never comes,
We hear the alarm sharp at 5.30,as the mobile rings.
Snooze it one time, two times but don’t turn it off,
Remember the day when you did not see the bus at your bus stop.
Finally get up, pack your bed and switch the geyser ON,
Open the door and feel that the lovely sleeping hours are gone.
Brush your teeth while your eyes closed and sleep for those 5 minutes,
Take bath, pray, get ready and run for the bus so you don’t miss it.
If you are before time or lucky enough, grab the window seat,
Or get crushed in between on every jerk or fall down on every turn while asleep.
Try to complete your sleep in between bus and lorry horns,
Along with listening to the Radio City songs.
Reach office and try to open your eyes fully,
But unable to do it without b’fast and a cup of masala tea.
Reach your cubicle, unlock your PC and open the outlook,
check if client has complained or the patch you sent last, did not work
Being happy not seeing any mails with any new issues,
Put your headphones and turn the music on
Suddenly a mail from your manager drops in the inbox,
asking for some analysis and thinking out of the box,
You frown and open the work window,
struggle with the code and documents to get some clue.
When nothing seems working, go get some tea or coffee,
When all is a mess, go for lunch/snacks or some chatting.
Come back, start again, try adding or deleting some lines in code,
Sometimes, it will work or else go in never working mode.
Finish some part and leave some for tomorrow,
You can’t work more as it is time to go.
Pack your bag, run for the seat near window,
Else you will be fall on turns or sandwitched between any two.
After a longer journey than morning, you reach back home,
Finish your dinner and clean some household somehow.
Go in the lap of bed, wishing tomorrow is holiday,
but that will happen only 2 times a week anyways.
The vicious circle of same routine is takes most of the our time ,
And we have no grudges as it is IT professional’s life.
We hear the alarm sharp at 5.30,as the mobile rings.
Snooze it one time, two times but don’t turn it off,
Remember the day when you did not see the bus at your bus stop.
Finally get up, pack your bed and switch the geyser ON,
Open the door and feel that the lovely sleeping hours are gone.
Brush your teeth while your eyes closed and sleep for those 5 minutes,
Take bath, pray, get ready and run for the bus so you don’t miss it.
If you are before time or lucky enough, grab the window seat,
Or get crushed in between on every jerk or fall down on every turn while asleep.
Try to complete your sleep in between bus and lorry horns,
Along with listening to the Radio City songs.
Reach office and try to open your eyes fully,
But unable to do it without b’fast and a cup of masala tea.
Reach your cubicle, unlock your PC and open the outlook,
check if client has complained or the patch you sent last, did not work
Being happy not seeing any mails with any new issues,
Put your headphones and turn the music on
Suddenly a mail from your manager drops in the inbox,
asking for some analysis and thinking out of the box,
You frown and open the work window,
struggle with the code and documents to get some clue.
When nothing seems working, go get some tea or coffee,
When all is a mess, go for lunch/snacks or some chatting.
Come back, start again, try adding or deleting some lines in code,
Sometimes, it will work or else go in never working mode.
Finish some part and leave some for tomorrow,
You can’t work more as it is time to go.
Pack your bag, run for the seat near window,
Else you will be fall on turns or sandwitched between any two.
After a longer journey than morning, you reach back home,
Finish your dinner and clean some household somehow.
Go in the lap of bed, wishing tomorrow is holiday,
but that will happen only 2 times a week anyways.
The vicious circle of same routine is takes most of the our time ,
And we have no grudges as it is IT professional’s life.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
The ever continued argument..Luck or hard work
Dont know for how long it is being discussed..but I argued first time on this topic when I was given this as the topic for Essay writing in 9th standard by our Hindi Teacher.And after a very long discussion with the teacher..this topic was discussed at home with my mom also..and finally my conclusion was though not very much accepted but well appreciated in the form of essay in school as I stood by luck or destiny as supreme.Still when this discussion arises in family or friends,I am not able to convince people most of the time.This is mainly because I feel that I am good in writing rather than talking and convincing people.
Lets start with the comments I get from the opponents of my view.
The master proverb..God helps those who help themselves.That story when one devotee kept waiting for the lord to come to save him in flood and did not accept the boat or air help services. Other live examples of the successful people who did hardwork and then were favoured by destiny for their success.
Other one..You can change ur destiny with your hardwork.One story of the kid who cut his hand lines with knife to make the line for education or so.
And if still I do not accept, I get some harsh looks with a unspoken or spoken statement that if you have this attitude in this young age,you are going to loose in long run.I better value their age and experience.
I dont intend to prove anyone wrong but where my view is concerned,I do or write what I feel is correct,what I have experienced in my life of 24 years and I prefer to stand by that only. It is equally difficult for me also to convince myself with the view I cant belive in.
Who doesnt work hard..a labourer also..but either he doesnt work smart or cant afford the nurture required for the growth.But some does get this support and they proceed ahead...why only them or a few?? And smartness is nothing but using an oppurtunity..and when will any oppurtunity come to your way is ur luck..Some may create oppurtunities as they say..I would like to know how many times..and is it at their discreet or only hardwork..ok..a little luck and more of hardwork..may be thts true..but i feel that the strength to do hardwork also comes from god..u dont meet accident during your preparation days and you suffer with no disease and are able to give your 100% or 1000% to your work..isnt then your hardwork is controlled by luck or destiny.May seem absurd at first reading but put a thought to it..
The proverb..vipatti kale vipreet budhi..why do we act wrongly when already things are going wrong..not all and not all the time..but we say..when it is ur bad time or luck does not favour u...where is your smartness and hardwork then??
No student wants to fail..everyone wants to be an IAS..some do not get direction/guidance..some do not work hard in right direction..etc..but why only those few who fail dont get it and why only successful people get wht is required for the best blend..but we call it time..or graha whn they fail..but if someone wins..all credit goes to his hardwork only..arent we wrong somewhere..??
I wont say that u sit idle and things will work..but i will say tht if u r destined to get something,..god will made u work for it and give u the strength and will power and the guidance to proceed..even if u want to sit idle..he wont let u..ur mind n ur thoughts are somewhere in his command...u fall in love with someone special only ...tht person is not some genius or attractive but just that he has made him for u..n when u see him..god gives u those feelings..n u fall for him..map these feelings to ur general thoughts..dont they come out of the blue from somewhere..n gives u a lead..
Just read and give this all a thought..may be u agree somewhere..I will just conclude with the message of a king to the powerful king who had sent a message to surrender or die to him....Uski marzi ke bina is kudrat ka ek patta bhi nahi hil sakta..
Lets start with the comments I get from the opponents of my view.
The master proverb..God helps those who help themselves.That story when one devotee kept waiting for the lord to come to save him in flood and did not accept the boat or air help services. Other live examples of the successful people who did hardwork and then were favoured by destiny for their success.
Other one..You can change ur destiny with your hardwork.One story of the kid who cut his hand lines with knife to make the line for education or so.
And if still I do not accept, I get some harsh looks with a unspoken or spoken statement that if you have this attitude in this young age,you are going to loose in long run.I better value their age and experience.
I dont intend to prove anyone wrong but where my view is concerned,I do or write what I feel is correct,what I have experienced in my life of 24 years and I prefer to stand by that only. It is equally difficult for me also to convince myself with the view I cant belive in.
Who doesnt work hard..a labourer also..but either he doesnt work smart or cant afford the nurture required for the growth.But some does get this support and they proceed ahead...why only them or a few?? And smartness is nothing but using an oppurtunity..and when will any oppurtunity come to your way is ur luck..Some may create oppurtunities as they say..I would like to know how many times..and is it at their discreet or only hardwork..ok..a little luck and more of hardwork..may be thts true..but i feel that the strength to do hardwork also comes from god..u dont meet accident during your preparation days and you suffer with no disease and are able to give your 100% or 1000% to your work..isnt then your hardwork is controlled by luck or destiny.May seem absurd at first reading but put a thought to it..
The proverb..vipatti kale vipreet budhi..why do we act wrongly when already things are going wrong..not all and not all the time..but we say..when it is ur bad time or luck does not favour u...where is your smartness and hardwork then??
No student wants to fail..everyone wants to be an IAS..some do not get direction/guidance..some do not work hard in right direction..etc..but why only those few who fail dont get it and why only successful people get wht is required for the best blend..but we call it time..or graha whn they fail..but if someone wins..all credit goes to his hardwork only..arent we wrong somewhere..??
I wont say that u sit idle and things will work..but i will say tht if u r destined to get something,..god will made u work for it and give u the strength and will power and the guidance to proceed..even if u want to sit idle..he wont let u..ur mind n ur thoughts are somewhere in his command...u fall in love with someone special only ...tht person is not some genius or attractive but just that he has made him for u..n when u see him..god gives u those feelings..n u fall for him..map these feelings to ur general thoughts..dont they come out of the blue from somewhere..n gives u a lead..
Just read and give this all a thought..may be u agree somewhere..I will just conclude with the message of a king to the powerful king who had sent a message to surrender or die to him....Uski marzi ke bina is kudrat ka ek patta bhi nahi hil sakta..
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